15 Weeks Pregnant- Some things I've learned.

Here is a quick and dirty list of all the things I've learned since getting knocked up:

- Hyper G is the devil.

- Women who have mulitple childen seem to think that they're experts on pregnancy and wish to share that wisdom with you.

- Establishing a "no-unsolicited advice rule" with your friend and family won't actually work.

- Setting up registries is really fun, and really nerve wracking, especially if you don't like asking people for things.

- People who only get regular morning sickness are really fucking lucky.

- Fruits and veggies are the least terrible things to throw up. Meat is the worst. Carbs are some where in the middle.

- Pregnancy is remarkably painful.

- "Don't worry about it" is the stupidest, most useless advice you will ever receive.

- Despite the incredible decrease in the odds of miscarriage, your fear of miscarriage doesn't seem to decrease at the end of the first trimester

- Your confident doctor, who doesn't order a lot of extra tests and ultrasounds because you're "right on track" will annoy the mother loving shit out of you because GODS DAMNIT you think something might be wrong because you had a funny twinge the other day

- Words like "Prego" "Preggers" and the like aren't cute or funny. They are obnoxious and make you want to punch people in the face.

- Your once long and zen-like temper has shrunk to about the size of a kernel of corn. However, if anyone said this to you you'd probably rip their face off and shove it down their throats.

- Fear of gender disappointment (because that means that you're already a bad mother) becomes more of a problem then gender disappointment could ever be.

- Everything becomes a sign that you're going to be or already are a bad mother.

- You're hungry all the time, but can't eat (hey, hyper g, fuck you), you're exhausted all the time but can't sleep and if you're dog wakes you up at night one more time he's going to the pound.

- Your husband is both the most wonderful man in the world, and the scum of the earth, in rapid succession, for no aparent reason.

- Watching this video may help allevieate some of the crazies, because if we can't laugh at ourselves we'll kill the stupid mother fucker who laughs at us:









I'll have more pearls of wisdom for you all later. Right now, I need a nap.

*Live Update*

So, It's currently March of 2011 (as you can see from the post date). My last post was May of 2010.
Why?
Well, there's a lot of reasons.
I lost that pregnancy. The one I blogged about. I didn't want to blog about that, but I had already mentioned the pregnancy. So I stepped away from the blog all together.
That was probably stupid.
See, I think that people should talk about pregnancy loss. We don't talk about it enough. Everytime I see some one announce their pregnancy on Facebook ten seconds after peeing on a stick, my heart clenches a little bit. For fear, that what happened to me, might happen to them.
You see, I feel like I can talk about it now.
Because I'm pregnant again. But really pregnant this time. I'm 14 weeks pregnant now. I have a healthy baby so far as I know, a healthy strong heart beat of 170. I have a belly too. It's pretty awesome. Except the whole problem of Hyperemesis Gravidarium. It sucks. Most pregnant women get morning sickness. Hyper G is what happens when your body goes all wonky on the pregnancy hormones. You end up nauseated and vomiting 24/7. They say it's supposed to let up at the end of the first trimester, I'm still waiting. But it's worth it. No matter how much I throw up, how dehydrated I get or how miserable I might feel in my body, I'll never regret this pregnancy.

We moved out of the city, to nowhere (about an hour and a half away). It's close enough that we've been able to maintain our relationship with our church and friends, but far enough that it's really difficult. Mr. Tulip found an excellent job out here about 10 seconds after graduation. That job he was interviewing for in the "monumental" post. We're hoping to move back next summer.

I left the photo studio not long after we moved. Then I found a job at a pet store, one of those big national chain brand ones. But I left that store shortly after I got pregnant. I'm now "self employed". Traveling to craft fairs with Fox to sell my wares (which you'll be seeing around here a lot more). I also do some proof-reading work and some updating of resumes. You can find my etsy HERE.

My friend from the last post is doing much better. She's been clean since that happened, been through rehab and is living on her own with a sweet boyfriend. I miss seeing her, but we talk, and I'm glad that she's doing better. Relieved I think is a good word. 

That's it for now. It's a sweet Saturday morning, and Mr. Tulip and I are going to make these bagels and hopefully I'll be able to eat one!

Update on my friend

A few days ago I made this post. After she showed up at her Mom's house, they had her comitted as a suicide risk to a psych ward for 5 days. Now she's at an inpatient treatment facility for addiction. It's a nice place. I've been talking to her mom's wife about it, and she says it's nice. Spiritual, but not religious. They do yoga and have a nutritionist on staff to talk about how to eat.

I know it's pointless, and it's not true, but I can't help but feel responsible.
She never would've started hanging out with him if I'd been around more.

I'm going to stop that train of thought right there. Deb, the mother's wife, says that I shouldn't contact her for a little while. She's technically clean, but still really screwed up. Aparently she was lying to me about a lot of things, not just that Jason ass.

She wasn't taking her meds.
She was compulsively shopping.
She was lying to me and everyone about everything, even stupid things.

When we go out to that side of the state for Sister-winlaw's wedding, I'm going to get to visit her. In August when Mr. Tulip and I go to the ren fest, we're going to see about getting her a day pass to come with us.

It stings, not being able to call my best friend and tell her about what's going on in my life. It makes me feel all icky and lonely. I miss her. But she's where she needs to be now. She's getting the help she needs. And it's the best thing for her. I just need to be strong and hope that Deb is passing on my messages that I love her, miss her and can't wait to see her again.

Menu Planning

Ok, Mr. Tulip and I need to learn to live more frugally. A big step in this is going to be learning to plan, and stick to and shop from a menu!

So, here's my menu for this week:

Sunday:
B- Dunkin Donuts (sunday tradition)
L- Sandwhiches at home
D- Left overs

Monday:
B- Eggy and toast
L- Packed lunch for work (Mr. Tulip: Turkey Sandwhich)
D- Broccoli Noodle thing I have in the freezer.

Tuesday:
B- Cereal
L- Soup (Broc/Chz soup left over)
D- Chicken and waffles

Wednesday:
B-Waffles
L- Packed lunch for work
D- Tacos

Thursday:
B- Eggy and Toast
L- Chicken soup
D- Stuffed Shells ( Recipe, sub spinach and mushrooms for meatsie)

Friday:
B- Eggy and Toast
L- Packed for work
D- Scrounge/ Left overs

Saturday:
B- Cereal
L- Ramen or grabables
D- Hobbit Food (Bacon, Mushrooms, greens, bread etc...)

Snacks:
Crackers
Cutting Cheese
Pickles
Avocados
Tomatos


Important note: Except for today, there's no eating out on this menu! I plan to stick to it, at least for this week! We did just invest in a video game system (an N64... because we're that awesome) so that's our "eating out" budget for the week.

Today is Monumental

I'm currently sitting in a coffee shop. I'm drinking Decaf.

I'm pregnant.

Mr. Tulip is currently in a job interview. For a good job.

And I'm pregnant.

I took a test this morning. The line was faint, but it was there.

I'm pregnant.

WTF is up with my chart?

Seriously, what the hell is this shit?

I'm allegedly 15dpo right now. But still getting BFNs. I may not have O'd until CD 20, which means I'm only 13 dpo now. But I might not've O'd until cd 25, if that's the case I'm only 8 dpo.

This is absurd. I would really like to know what's up with my body right now. Or at least have AF show off so I'll know what's going on.

I'm not giving up this cycle just yet. It ain't over till its over!

Holding Pattern

Last night I got a message from my best friend's Dad. She had gone missing. My friend from this post. She was last known to be with "Jason". The only "Jason" that she knew, as far as I was aware, was her dealer.

He's bad. He had a girl OD'ing in his car and he "punched her in the face to bring her around" and when that didn't work he "called an ambulence and left her at a truck stop". Then he ran away. Cowardly fucker.

Last we'd heard, she was supposedly in Harrisburg, but she had called from a Pittsburgh number. (Her family is out towards Philly). The Pittsburgh number belonged to Jason. She told me she hadnt heard from him in a while, and had no intention of seeing him again.

She'd visited me Friday night, but didn't stay, she went back to Indiana (the city, not the state) that night. She was going to meet me for breakfast in Pittsburgh Saturday morning but she over slept.

Confused? Yeah, me too.

When she came in on Friday, she hugged me, then vomitted on my floor. We cleaned it up then had dinner. She was miraculously hungry. But her eyelids were heavy.

She's safe now. She showed up at her Mom's house some time really late last night.

I could scream. I could slap her.

I could cry.

I did.

Fuck.